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Conversion of Real-Life IQ to GURPS IQ
Ray Cochener [firstname.lastname@example.org] wrote:
I'm just thinking that in any modern day campaign people are likely to have been measured for their IQ (official version) and it would be really cool to have a way to derive what the number would be...
Stephan Zielinski [email@example.com] answered:
Okay, how's this sound:
- Base character's intelligence is 14.
- If the player knows his IQ, subtract one.
- If the player knows his IQ to three significant figures, subtract two.
- If the player complains and cites his SAT scores to demonstrate how smart he is, subtract one.
- If the player continues complaining, give the character a five point Odious Personal Habit: Thinks He's A Hell Of A Lot Smarter Than He Is.
- If at any point the player mentions the book The Bell Curve, give the character a five point Odious Personal Habit: Southern Racist (Doesn't Mind 'Em Living Close As Long As They Don't Get Uppity.)
- If at any point the player mentions Gould's The Mismeasure of Man, add one point to IQ and give the character the Odious Personal Habit: Northern Racist (Doesn't Mind 'Em Getting Uppity As Long As They Don't Live Close.)
- If the player claims to have either version of Eidetic Memory, give the character OPH: Will Recite Digits Of Pi To Try To Get Laid.
- If the character sheet has any professional skill over 14, determine how much money the player made last year. Then laugh at him.
- If the character sheet has any professional skill over 18, do not game with this player unless you are armed and remain at least as sober as he is. Remember: delusions of grandeur are an EARLY symptom of paranoid schizophrenia.
- If the player is still arguing, subtract another level of IQ and invite bystanders to join you in openly mocking him.
- If the player is STILL arguing, knock off another level.
- If the player is STILL arguing, suggest that he instead consider playing a different modern day campaign character, such as Pee Wee Herman -- or perhaps the Elephant Man.
- If the player is STILL arguing, suggest that he game as a GM's Adversary, in charge of all zombies, giant amoebae, and swarms of insects.
- If the player is STILL arguing, tell him his mother is calling him and continue the evening's entertainment with the rest of your players.